Sunday, April 24, 2016

At long last....an update!

Long time since we updated....Here's what has been going on!

First, an update from our last fundraiser of selling beads at the State game: We made over $600 in 2 hours!!!! Thank you for your support if you saw us at the game!

We also received $875 to help with visiting my mom and our adoption from my classroom parents at Christmas last school year!





Here's a pic of Patrick cooking a yummy Valentine's Day Dinner!




Here is a pic from the June Breast Cancer Walk - Hanna, Brittany, and I walked to support mom!


As I have sat here this morning reviewing our journey, I want re-visit some of our goals from before:

Here are some of our goals for the upcoming years - 
1) Raise $1,000 or more each quarter
2) Purchase a 2nd family car next spring 2015 (possibly sell the old but faithful truck?)
3) Have a down payment for our 1st house in spring/summer 2016
4) Get our home - home-study ready! Child proofing and all! :-D
5) 2017 hopefully reached our $20,000 goal and ready to adopt!

GOAL UPDATES:
We did purchase a 2nd family car/SUV in July 2015.

We did save around $1000 for each quarter.
We post-poned our house hunting until this coming January 2017 due to family/personal reasons.
We have been given a new opportunity to foster to adopt, and plan on taking foster classes between July and Dec. sometime this summer/fall.
We have registered for our upcoming adoption at www.buybuybaby.com and www.amazon.com with some infant, but mostly toddler items.
We did not have a home-study due to no house hunting, but we did register for safety items!
We are still planning on 2017 being our year to adopt!!!


Our New Goals:
Foster classes completed by December 2016.
House hunting January-March 2017.
Home study ready by April 2017.
Adoption shower in spring 2017.
Spring or Summer 2017 - Baby Catherwood!!!! Woop! Woop!

Life Updates:
This past year and half has been full of emotion. In short, I did visit my mom that fall (2014) to help her through her mastectomy surgery on top of loosing a team member at work 2 weeks prior and supporting a new team of teachers. Having a loved one that has to go through so much to live and survive puts a toll on you whether you are with them every day or not, as well as trying to hold your job together for the good of all. My mom had some good times and some bad times, but struggled to be clear for radiation because of the way her surgery was healing. She had a couple months of radiation from late January through the end of March (2015), which again brought good days and bad. Unfortunately, she had a complication from the radiation, which she is still not healed from. After giving her 6 months to heal and finding that it was not healing, they decided to do a skin graph surgery in September (2015). Again, this resulted in complications. She started to having "fixer" surgeries beginning in November of 2015. She has had about 15 surgeries since November 2015. This I'm sure has taken its toll on her, and I am forever grateful to my Aunt Dolly who has been present for her, but it has also left me with a lot of guilt of not being able to be there to help her or to make her better. I have felt helpless the past few months and stressed because I do not know what to do to help. I do hope for success with the next surgery so that my mom can return back to her normal life. She has mostly been in the hospital for about 5 months and with my aunt in-between hospital times. The latest update is she had 2 surgeries about 2 weeks ago and is at her own home with a nurse that visits a few times week.

In the midst of this, my two best friends had their first babies, which brought many mixed emotions for me. Navigating through topics of conversation, baby showers, and meeting the new babies was difficult, even though my heart was happy and overjoyed for them! Sometimes I wish there was a guide or rule-book for those navigating infertility and adoption! Ha! I found myself pulling away from my friends, my hair dresser, and anyone I saw regularly with children. The pain of not having a family and wanting it so badly seemed to be managed by avoiding. This worked for a little while, but I was just kidding myself!

So, with work, my besties starting their families, and my mom I was feeling a little discouraged and stressed. Along came some great amazing news that threw me for a big loop and knocked the wind out of me. Patrick's sister Kate and her husband Jamie are expecting a sweet little boy in August. The news that we are going to be aunt and uncle again, brought up so many emotions with my mom being sick and my friends starting families. All I ever wanted was for my mom to meet my children.

I've been to a couple therapy sessions in my life on two different occasions, but never needed support and guidance like I have this year. I am forever grateful to Duke Infertility Psychologists for helping me get back to my happiness. I did not realize how much I had put on hold in my own life because I was worried about others, and it took therapy to realize that I had put our adoption on hold without knowing it. Through therapy the past 3 months, I have learned so much about myself and how to navigate infertility and adoption with a different mindset. I have reached a place of overflowing love and joy for others who have their sweet babies and who are making their sweet babies. I have reached a place of acceptance. I have developed an overwhelming urge of giving and service to others and support. I have a new found peace in my life and I am very excited about what this next year will bring!

So currently, I'm excited to start helping plan and make things for Kate's shower. I am excited about going into baby stores again and looking at things for others and our future kiddos. I have been able to look through all the baby items we have (which have been put away for awhile). I feel like motherhood is on the horizon and life is falling into place. There is a perfect right time for everything! :-)

And our last bit of good news is that Patrick's mother has a friend that was adopted and is part of the Boys and Girls Homes of NC and has been most of his life. Through him we have made a connection and have been given a chance to hopefully foster to adopt children in North Carolina, which is what we have wanted from the beginning. We are very thrilled and excited about this opportunity and can't wait to share our journey with you!